Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Small Moments

My 3-year old son is not one of those people who wake up and happily jump out of bed. Even though he's a pretty early riser (6:30 or 7:00 - and that's late compared to what it used to be) I swear that he lies in bed for at least 20 minutes gradually emerging from the depths of slumber before he pads down the hall and carefully creaks our door open. In the mornings, he has this luxury...at nap times not so much.
He has quiet time every day and sometimes falls asleep and sometimes doesn't. When he does fall asleep, sometimes he wakes up on his own and comes down, but often I have to wake him up at 5:00 because if I don't he'll never go to bed on time. These wake-ups are more often than not quite painful - for Mama and small son!
Today was one of those painful days. I went to wake him up and right away he started crying (never a good sign as it can escalate to hysteria quickly). Now, I've tried everything I can think of to stem the tide of these melt downs: cajoling, coddling, being firm, leaving, staying, bribing, humor, anger. Sometimes something works and sometimes not - it's never consistent. I've been working hard with him to try and get him to articulate what he wants and why he's sad, but sometimes he just can't define his emotions...they just are.
Well, today I got a relatively coherent response. I asked him if he wanted a snuggle and he said, 'Yes'.
So, I sat down on his bed (which is a low trundle so just getting down there is a challenge for a 7 month pregnant lady - and let's not even talk about getting up!) and pulled him into my arms and snuggled him. He burrowed his head into my shoulder and his warm little body just melted onto my chest. I rubbed his back and sang to him to keep him from falling asleep again.
Now, today was a really hectic and stressful day for me...one of those days that your list of things to do is so long and then everything takes longer than you think it will and it's just all so frustrating and depressing. So, I'm sitting there in the semi-dark holding my son and my brain is still racing with that list...list, list, always there is the list. Sometimes I just wish it would GO AWAY!
But suddenly, holding him in that moment - in that little moment - the frustration that he's so hard to get up and the aggravation that I was spending time that I should be doing things just melted away and I realized THIS is IT. These are the moments I wait for as a parent. The ones of almost unbearable sweetness...when my day stops and nothing matters but the connection with my child in that small window of time. I was holding my son and he was snuggling in my arms.
Today I was so thankful that my second hasn't arrived yet...for I know that after he does I will not have the luxury of 20 minutes of post-nap snuggles with my first. Today I am grateful for those small moments that come when we least expect them.

1 comment:

Bill said...

Baby, I want to marry you all over again!